Space Cookies :)

So I know I've been ridiculously terrible with this whole posting thing, but with this crazy summer coming to a close and yet another school year about to begin, I think I'm going actually begin to try posting again. :P No promises regarding consistency though.

This summer, I've been working as a math and science teacher at this summer program for elementary school kids. It's been puhreeettyyy crazy and my patience (which is renowned for it's nonexistence) has been pushed to it's absolute limits. In the end, I think the experience was definitely worth it though. I was able to put my own curriculum together and working with the kids was so much fun. The kids all had such big personalities and every day at work was different. :)

As a last farewell, one of my science classes decorated sugar cookies. One of the aides and I mixed together some crazy colored 'space-frosting' and the kids went nuts with all kinds of sprinkles! It was sugar insanity.. luckily, it was time for me to leave before the

cookies were properly digested and the sugar highs set in. :)

The kids LOVED it. It was tons of fun to see the different designs they attempted. The girls were more careful and tried to plan designs while the boys M.O. seemed to be to cram as much sugar onto the cookies as they could and then down them.

For example.. take Nathan's sprinkle pile seen above versus...

Megan's peace sign masterpiece, marked with her first initial. It didn't just stop there though, haha. :) Here are a couple more cookies.

Justin said this was his 'spiral galaxy...'

... and this is Amy's 'Martian Cookie.'

All in all, it was definitely an excellent activity and definitely so much fun. :) I'm glad to be done with work, but I think a part of me will definitely miss these crazy kids.

Negativity. :/

So much for consistency. I suck, yes I know. The only reason I'm even writing now is probably because I'm annoyed with whatever it is I'm trying to paint and I'm looking for another way to procrastinate. I have a midterm on Tuesday and I really, really need to study, but I have no motivation to as per usual.

I was doing so well not thinking about things... okay, maybe not about things, maybe just one particular thing.. okay, so maybe one particular person. It isn't that I don't want to think about him, it's just that I get so discouraged by the amount we communicate and the hit or miss way he returns my calls/texts (always more miss than hit). I don't want to think about it so much because I know I always overanalyze and make things worse. I don't like that I need constant affirmation, but then again I don't think communication on a bi-daily basis is really constant affirmation.. honestly.  I just keep telling myself to hold out til the summer, but who's to even say that being in the same city is going to change our patterns. It makes my heart hurt, really it does. He's the first guy I've ever cared about this way. He's the first guy I've ever truly liked. He's the first guy that I've allowed close enough to truly hurt me. I'm constantly terrified, but the way he makes me feel when I'm with him is something that I can't just put aside. I just really hope it all works out. It's turning into one big headache/heartache. A relationship shouldn't consist primarily of pining obviously, and it hurts to think that ours just might.

I'm in such a melancholy mood and I'm not sure why. My mood's been bordering on negativity on a regular basis lately and I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'm so annoyed and I really want to chalk it up to PMS, but I'm not so sure.

I'm so frustrated and so annoyed and some people don't know the meaning of space. I feel like the worlds closing in on me and I'm not even sure that going home can fix this.

Okay, off to actually study. I'll be back with some positivity to cancel out this entry, promise. 

:)

What Happens During Study Time...

First we give in to our secret mustache envy...

Then, we break out the paper hats...

                                 

              Stephanie is not cooler.            

Yay for Felisa!!! 

Then we put it all together and... 

MASTERPIECE.

Triumph and Realization

I'm not sure if it was just the fact that the sun decided to shine all day today, but somehow, even though I accidently slept through my 8 AM Spanish class, today turned out to be a pretty wonderful day. I laughed a lot and therefore coughed a lot, but it was well worth it. 

Above all the happy moments today brought, I do believe the best was when the kid I've been tutoring for about a month now told me that he got a 98.9% on his math test yesterday!!! For four days a week for the last month, I've been working on basic concepts with this kid: teaching him how to isolate a variable and solve, how to change fractions to decimals to percents, and how to do long division. We worked through every homework problem he brought home at least three times a piece. I formulated new problems and we created notecards to help him remember basic concepts. Seeing him so happy that he has succeeded on his own and seeing his parents so proud of what he accomplished was perfect and made all the sketchy moments I've had going to and from their home seem bearable.

I spent a lot of time with my friends today and I think something about the atmosphere just made me realize how much I appreciate all of them. It's so hard to believe that at the beginning of this school year we were all strangers to one another. These people here are amazing and they are the reason my college experience thus far has been inexplicably amazing. They're sweet, hilarious, intelligent, thoughtful, fun, and just all around wonderful. Every person that I have taken the time to hang out with while here has taught me something different and those that I spend more time around have never failed in providing me with support or entertainment. I don't think I've met a boring person here yet. I have met a few irritating and annoying ones, but even they happened to be more interesting than a lot of people I know.

I know there may be some doubts in my mind now about Berkeley, but I will never doubt the people here. They are the reason I am still hanging on and putting up with the street preachers and the criminal threats, the dirty streets and the night time creeps. 

I'll leave with this. 

Simple string and playful beads delicately entwined into a strand of love made to wrap perfectly around my wrist and remind me in the saddest of moments that a silly redhead loves me dearly.

...and an afterthought.

Today is proof that I have less and less of a reason to keep myself down in the dumps. There are too many people out there to interact with. Why get hung up on just one? I do miss him though, but some things are meant to wait.

Miracles do happen.

It's five PM and the first rays of sun I've seen all day have just started to peer through the Bay Area gloom. A salvaged evening? I think so.

I'm tempted to run outside to soak up what little vitamin D these sparse rays have to offer, but it's still pretty chilly out and not to mention wet. Very, very, very wet.

My linguistics professor said that we are to expect ten days of rain starting today. As sweet as the man is, I honestly hope he's wrong. I'm not sure if I'd be able to survive. The gloom's got me going stir crazy and craving that San Diego sunshine that much more. At this point, I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to survive the rest of this school week, let alone the next ten days. Socal, you're pulling at my heart strings and playing me like a harp. It isn't fair.

I'll take this brief reprieve as a sign and as the sky begins to clear just in time to see the sun set I'll keep in mind that terrible days can always lead to amazing nights.

Things I can depend on..

For it to rain in Berkeley.

For dense assholes who think they know it all to continue to be dense assholes who think they know it all.

To have massive amounts of homework (that I haven't started) due the next day.

For my roommate to call me a bitch with a smile on her face and vice versa.

For my bed to be unmade, but still just as inviting.

For some friends to disappoint me. 

For the more important friends to be there for me no matter what.

For boys to be boys.

To want more than I already have.

For certain people to always make me smile.

For a dot on one of my whiteboards to continue growing. :)

To misplace my ID at least twice a day.

To miss the friend that I spent the majority of the best summer of my life with.

To want my mom's cooking.

To crave his touch.

To find humor in my poor luck.

To be distracted and off task.

For it to be possible to find happiness in someone or something in any situation.

To be unsatisfied.

To be worried.

For my laptop to always be there for me.

For my parents to love me.

For my sister to miss me.

To miss my sister.

To love Nicole and for her to love me.

To need his kiss.

To miss my puppies.

To always be in need of something.. or at least be under the impression that I am in fact in need of something.

To be excited for change.

To need to go to the gym.

To be thankful for all that I have.