Uncertainty kills.

I'm so scared. Terrified really and it isn't like anyone gets it. My secrets are my own and their weight is becoming unbearable. There is no longer such a thing as comfortable silence. Every void is filled with the prattling of my own thoughts and an overwhelming anxiety that I have to work to keep checked. I don't want to explain the reasons behind the decisions I've made. To every person I've told a different part of the truth, but not a single one can see my whole picture. I hate feeling like I have to explain myself. Actually, check that. I hate feeling like I can't explain myself.

I keep asking myself if I'm making the right choices. What if it doesn't help? What if it doesn't make me happier? What if I'm never at ease? I know there is no way to know. I know it's pretty pointless for me to fret like this, but it feels impossible not to. I know it isn't worth living if you have all the answers, but I really wish I had a few more right now. I'd give anything for a little reassurance, a little stability. I'd give anything for a hug.